Back in July when we got home from Utah I felt really motivated (for probably the first time in my life and in large part I think it's thanks to the spirit working with me at my pace and helping to soften my heart.) to take charge of my health and to get in shape. For as long as I can remember I've been an emotional eater and have usually steered clear of exercise. It didn't seem to matter much til I hit college and my metabolism slowed down and my weight gain sped up. I was up and down and finally got back to a good weight at the end of my mission. I came home feeling great! That was about the time I met Bry. I was a realistic and ideal (according to me) size when we got married. But the stress of being back in school AND teaching a daily college course (FREN101 at BYU) took it's toll. Within 6 months I had gained 40 lbs and honestly didn't even recognize it happening. Then I got pregnant with Brie and kept another 10 lbs from that pregnancy. I was THRILLED when I found out I was expecting Alex, but not so thrilled to be starting out as heavy as I was. That didn't stop me from excitedly watching as my baby bump grew and embracing that miraculous season of life, but it was exhausting to lug around the extra weight and a growing baby. My feet were swollen from most of third trimester, my arches felt strained, my knees and back ached. 9 months pregnant I weighed in at 210 lbs. That was A LOT for my small 5' 3'' frame to be shouldering. After Alex was born it wasn't about getting back to "pre-pregnancy" weight or even just getting back to my "newly wed" size. It's been about learning to respect my body and take care of it--because it's a gift and stewardship from God, because I wanted to fit back into the wardrobe that had been boxed up for several years, because I realized that it wasn't only affecting me, it was affecting what I could and couldn't do with my family...and so that I could live life more fully, the way that God intended.
When this surge of motivation came I decided that I was not interested in dieting. I wanted to change my lifestyle. I wanted to make changes that I could maintain. Honestly I looked at my lifetime patterns and realized that I had SO many things I was doing poorly...so I had so many changes I could make. It sounds funny but it brought me hope. I could drink more water. I could start counting calories (because I honestly had ZERO concept of what I was eating and how it added up. Calories was a good way to start). I could look at serving sizes and figure out proper portions. I could still eat sweets, but eat them with moderation. The list goes on. And that's where I began. I should add that I am nursing* and want to make sure that I am losing weight properly---not dropping below the daily recommended calories for nursing moms and not losing more than 2 lbs/week. I really think {that for me} nursing has helped the weight come off faster. (So if any of you read this, try some of the things I have tried and don't have the same success, it may be that you're not nursing a guzzling little 10 month old ;0))
For awhile I lost 2 lbs every week (and occasionally still do), other weeks I lose one, and for several weeks here and there I have plateaued. But as I've gone along I have really become a firm believer that "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." (Alma 37:6) I realized that my often black and white thinking was wrong. I could no longer see my health in two extremes: overweight or ideal. I had to realize that there was a spectrum of progress and that each step in the right direction was a victory....AND that each step in that direction would ultimately lead me to my goal. It's also been a beautiful testimony to me of repentance. That even though we may mean no harm by the choices we make that ultimately we are accountable for them. And that it does mean turning from those choices and one step at a time walking away from them. It takes time, BUT it is possible and it is liberating! Over the last few months I have often thought of the weight I have lost and can't believe the burden I was carrying around. {at this point} it's almost 50 lbs. Just think of hauling a 50 lb. back pack around. Imagine even carrying around a 25 lb pack. That's a ton of weight and it takes its toll. It is wonderful to have new found energy...and with it renewed enthusiasm to get down on the ground and play with the kids, to run up the stairs, to exercise. It feels great...and so good!
As for specifics, here are some of the main things I've done (out of laziness I'm going to copy and paste from a recent email I sent to a good friend)...
For the first month I used WebMD and religiously input everything I ate. It was really time-consuming, but I think was necessary for me to start becoming more accountable and to get a better idea of a healthy portion/serving sizes. At the time I was also getting Cooking Light magazines in the mail each month. Frequently our dinner menu came from them and I was able to get the nutritional info online. That was convenient :0)
I used this website to give me an idea of the nutritional info for a recipe/a meal i made at home, instead of inputting each individual item into the calorie counter. It's not exact, but I thought it gave me a rough enough estimate.
After I had a pretty good sense for all that, I would keep a rough running total in my head each day and just use the website to keep track of my weight loss. Now I still try to watch how much I eat and try to just be satisfied, not overly full and never stuffed. That seems to be working pretty well. I still eat about anything I want I just limit how much I eat at a sitting and in a day. (I personally didn't want this to be a diet that wasn't manageable, I wanted it to be a change in diet.) It's good to remember that your calories "start over" each day. So if you already had a brownie, it fit within your allotted calories (yay!), but a second one wouldn't....set it aside and you can eat it tomorrow and it won't be a big deal because it will be within the bounds that you have determined for a healthier/fitter you. If I am feeling particularly munchy I get my water bottle (I like to use the 32 oz mug from the hospital with the straw. I can easily track how much I drink, 64 oz is easy to calculate and for whatever reason I prefer it over a normal glass. Drinking more water in general has been a big thing for me.) out and bring it in where I am. i.e. If I'm sitting at the computer I keep it there so I can sip on it. If that doesn't cut it I sometimes try gum. It's not my favorite option (although I do try to find gum that has sugar instead of aspartame), but it's better than grazing on a bunch of calorie dense snacks. That usually works. But if I'm really just feeling like a snack I try to determine how much I'm willing to eat, count it out and then eat that much. If I just graze on it...100s of calories go by within a few minutes and I'm still wanting more. It's a slippery slide ;0)
With that being said, I have to add that over the holidays my goal was to maintain my weight and then to hit it again in January. I think it was a realistic goal, but it was interesting to see how a lot of my old habits crept in as I allowed myself to eat whatever I didn't hold myself as accountable. I felt myself losing control and once again using food as a way to deal with my emotions and baggage. (Still trying to figure that one out.) But, I decided to once again take hold of my health and to kick things into gear. And I realized that just like with wheels on your car---unexpected bumps, daily driving and wear and tear, gradually the wheels get out of alignment---we too tend to drift as time goes on, but we too can make realignments and it's OK. The key is that we're trying and moving forward.
Also I chose a "weigh-in" day each week. My day is Friday morning, right when I get up. I wear the same thing so that I don't have to calculate different weight of clothing. Sometimes I'll do a "pre weigh-in" a few days before if I feel like I've been off track....just to give myself an idea if I need to kick my efforts up a notch, go for an extra walk, etc :0) Otherwise I just weigh once a week. That's what Web MD mentioned as being healthy, I think. That way I don't get obsessed with my weight...rather it's just a weekly indication of how I'm doing. I also have a target pair of pants for whatever size I'm trying to get into at that given time. Every now and again I'll try on that particular pair and see how I'm doing. (It's been SUPER exciting to have a pair of pants be super tight, still be tight but barely fit, be snug, fit, then get baggy. Especially when I started out postpartum in plus size maternity pants).
One thing I must include is a book that my Mom & Dad gave me to read. "Younger Next Year." I still haven't finished it, and it is intended for an older audience (more my Parents' age +), but it has been really enlightening and been great to read while I pedal away on the stationary bike or speed walk on the tread mill. It's especially been a great motivation in the exercise department. When I started out I decided that I was only going to eat less, not move more (has anyone seen that SNL skit? I can TOTALLY relate to that. Totally :0)) About a month later I was ready to take it up a notch and to get moving! I did "walking group" 3x/week, water aerobics a few times and when the weather turned cold I started going to our complex gym 3x/week. (I'm excited for warmer weather and taking it up another notch...walking group 3x/week and gym 2x/week.) I am finally getting to the point where I enjoy working out. Yay!!! My favorite part of my work out is sprinting up the stairs from the gym to Laura's apartment (we swap babysitting so that we can take turns exercising) and not being completely winded. I may not be burning a million calories during my 30 minute workouts, but I'm in my target heart rate and I'm getting in shape. AND I actually desire to be active. I have proposed going on Saturday walks, exercising over the holidays, and working out with Bry for a date night. I NEVER would have done that before. NEVER! Slowly but surely I see myself changing and it's exciting for me to see. My goal for this Spring is to walk a 5k (for some kind of cause) with Bry and the kiddos in tow. (I don't know if I'll ever be a runner (I just worry about my knees and joints), but I'd love to at least walk for causes :0))
Last thing, I already said this, but I think it's important....celebrate all the victories! One pound is not insignificant (pick up a pound of butter and realize that there is that much less of you to have to carry around ;0)), especially when it's half of the allotted weight your supposed to safely lose a week! It's great...it's exciting! By small and simple things do great things come to pass. By small yet significant choices we turn from our old ways and find better ways of doing things.I'm currently 8 lbs away from my end goal....well, that or fitting into a favorite pair of pants I own ;0) We'll see which ones come first. I still have some road ahead of me, trying to figure out how to healthily manage emotions (i.e. turning more to the Lord than to food). Maybe that will be more of my goal for this final stretch. AND, let's be honest, there are some other things I still need to work on (like fitting more fruits and veggies into my day and not overdoing it in the dessert department ;0) But I'm grateful for the road behind me, for the journey that I'm on, the personal victories I've had and the things the Lord has taught me along the way. Thanks to everyone who is supporting me and cheering me on!!
Picture courtesy of Brie :0)Several months ago I mentioned wanting to buy cute workout clothes when I got down to a smaller size. My sweet Mom and sister Rach outfitted me for my birthday. Work out pants, two shirts, NEW {cute grey & pink} NIKES and even coordinating socks. Not to mention my Dad getting me a heart monitor! It makes working out that much more fun and motivating :0)
Here's to health!
