seeing what matters most.

Life has been good with four kids.  We've been BLESSED!  But since school started and we've worked to get back in to routines I have been getting overwhelmed with the endless list of things that need to get done.  I keep trying to find myself "getting on top of the house" and never succeeding to my liking.  The dishes and laundry are never done.  New messes are always being made.  Indeed it's like the quote that says, "trying to clean your house while raising small children is like brushing your teeth while eating oreos!"  But I keep trying and trying and trying...but am getting worn down. Not to mention working hard to exercise and calorie count and take care of (essentially) 3 busy callings at church...and everything else.  But the point of this post is not to vent, but more to share a sweet little moment in the midst of all of this craziness that is called life.  Today has been busy and full of all of which I just described and I've been feeling particularly tired and worn down.  I got Elijah down for a nap and then Aimee (it's awesome when their afternoon naps overlap!) and was hoping that Alex might take a little nap so I could nap  organize my desk and input receipts.  You finished eating your {"poo treat"} sucker and came in wiping your hands with a wet wipe like I had suggested. (You have been doing such a GREAT job at listening and obeying today.  We've had LOTS and LOTS of meltdowns, screaming and tantrums lately so it was especially AWESOME!!)  You were needing to throw it away, I said that I would throw it away for you and started ushering you back to your room to take a nap.  You often insist that I snuggle with you.  Sometimes I do for a little bit and sometimes I just carry on with what I'm doing.  Today, although mentally tugged at by everything else I could be doing, I laid down next to you on your big boy twin size bed and asked if I could hold your hand.  You were lovingly holding your favorite teal corner of your blanket and sucking your thumb with the other hand.  You untucked your available hand and offered it to me.  It was so sweet to lay next to you and hold your hand.  Within a minute your eyes were closed and you were already asleep.  I laid there for a few minutes longer, looking at your handsome face and soaking up the feelings of gratitude for you---sometimes those feelings get so buried by a million frustrations that I choose to carry with me.  It was so much nicer to suspend those other thoughts that often bully my heart &  mind. I was grateful that I chose to take a few minutes away from the tug of my day to give my undivided attention to you.  To tell you in a special-to-Alex way that I care about you.  The thought came to me that I will never get on top of the house like I hope, but that I can seize similar moments with you kids.  Funny how much time we spend on an inanimate object {aka house} when dynamic little children truly notice and appreciate the time and effort we give to them.  In the end, I know it's a balance.  The house can't be left to itself.  Chores and cleaning do build character, structure and consistency.  BUT I am happy to be setting down the road of seeing what matters most.

substitutes.

I know I've had this thought before and even maybe already recorded it, but I wanted to record it {again} while it's fresh on my mind.

This morning I was nursing you, Aimee, and kept noticing that you were trying to sneak your little thumb in your mouth at the same time.  It was cracking me up!  But I couldn't help but think of how you were trying to substitute something that comforted you temporarily with what could really nourish.  How often am I doing this?  I'm reading the scriptures, praying, or at church (all times and places where I can be spiritually nourished), but distracted by things that I have grown attached to, that temporarily distract or comfort me?  I'd like to be better at this!  Thanks for the reminder, sweet Aimee :0)