28 April 2015
Dear Aimee,
Today is 8 years since Dad & I got
engaged…and guess who is here with us??
YOU!! You planned your own
surprise birthday party ;0) Last week I
was going to update you on how things were going, but almost every evening I
would sit down at the computer you were move your head in such a way that was
so painful that I couldn’t sit and tried to lay down and stretch out to give
you more room to move. Along with that,
I was having some pretty strong contractions.
Maybe that’s what was making you squirm so! They’d usually come around bed time and were
pretty intense. Several nights I had Dad
warm up a rice pack for me to use. That
seemed to help me fall asleep. I’ve
never had such strong irregular contractions leading up to the other kids’
births, so I wasn’t sure what was going on.
I should have had a checkup on Friday, but I had switched it to Tuesday
so Dad could be home to watch the boys.
Just to say that I wasn’t sure how I was progressing dilation and all. I texted Mémé, who is in Central America, and
told her I wasn’t sure how long you’d last…and that May 7th (when
her and Bompa are going to arrive in Normal) seemed like forever away. Sure enough, you had other plans for us!
Friday Alex celebrated his 4th birthday. It was an awesome day focused totally on him! (He LOVES celebrations and has SO been looking forward to his birthday…it was thoughtful of you to give him his day to be in the spotlight :0)) Thankfully Dad & I got to sleep around 10:30, earlier than the normal 11:00-12:00 that has been the case the last few weeks. A little after 1AM I woke up to some really strong contractions. I got up to go to the bathroom and got back in bed. The contractions were hanging on. Over the next few minutes I had to use the bathroom 2-3 more times, which is not typical for me and made me think that maybe I was in labor. As I walked back to the bed, with this realization in mind, I started shivering and my teeth were chattering. What in the world was going on, I thought. I laid down next to Dad and squeezed his arm as I breathed through an intense contraction. Was I in labor? As opposed to the other pregnancies I had been having these preliminary contractions…was my body just gearing up again? These ones felt so intense though! I started panicking a bit, knowing that if I went into labor then Mémé would not be there like I had hoped. Dad would be there, but who else would help me through labor?? The contractions were already so intense that I feared trying to get through the STRONGER ones without a support team. I woke Dad up and explained what had been going on the last 15 minutes or so. He got up to use the bathroom and I laid in bed shaking, chattering and crying. While waiting for him I prayed, explaining my fears and realizing that the shaking was probably because of my anxiety. The thought came to me that I could go to the hospital, get an epidural and have a peaceful birth experience. I have NEVER ever wanted an epidural, but the thought of it now brought me comfort. I continued to pray that I could settle down and stop shaking and within seconds the shivering had subsided. I felt such a close connection to Heaven. Dad called the doctor on call, described what was going and was advised to take me in to be checked out at the hospital. He then called our home teacher's family and (as previously arranged) his wife, Bernadette, said that she’d come right over. While waiting Dad gave me a priesthood blessing. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, got my shoes on, put a pink hoodie on over my pink night gown and grabbed my hospital bag. I told Bernadette that I felt funny heading to the hospital when I wasn’t even in active labor, she reassured us that it was a good idea and to go ahead and get on our way.
Dad drove the van. It was an unusually peaceful ride to Brommen. We made some chit chat, especially about how crazy it was that here right after Alex’s birthday we were headed to the hospital to maybe have another birthday. As we drove through campus I was amazed to see how many students were out walking around at 2:00 in the morning. We pulled up to the front valet parking and Dad parked. I had just one contraction since leaving the house, just before I stepped out of the car and it wasn’t even that bad. We grabbed my bags and headed in. The security guard asked if I was in labor and I kind of chuckled and said, not really but explained how this was our fourth baby and that we’d been told to come in. A few minutes later we walked in to triage, dressed in to a hospital gown, got hooked up to contraction and baby monitors and then the nurse checked to see how dilated I was. She was not gentle or quick at all. It was the most painful and thorough cervical check I’d had to date, after which she announced that I was probably at a four, but apologized and said that it was tricky to tell and that she was going to have someone else check me. After she left Dad and I joked that if I hadn’t been in labor that after that check I would be! The other nurse came in, checked and said that I was a very soft six! ( Yay! So those contractions had been doing something!) and that I was indeed in active labor. What a surprise, but how exciting that our baby girl would be joining us so soon!
We headed down the hall to room 1226 and I climbed in to the bed. One of the nurses came in to put in my IV. I barely felt a prick and was so grateful for how smoothly and painlessly it went in. They started me on fluids and called the anesthesiologist to come in for my epidural. I was laying on my side and breathing through the contractions that now seemed to be coming. One hand was gripping the hospital bed railing and the other was holding Dad’s hand. He gently talked me through the contractions. It seemed like only twenty minutes passed, but it was probably closer to an hour before I’d made it through the (preparatory) bag of fluids and that the anesthesiologist arrived. It was a special time where I felt very in tune with the spirit. Little ideas would come of how to move my leg, relax my neck, what to focus on, how to breathe. The distinct thought came that God was being my doula. It was just God, Bry and I making it through those contractions and in a relatively calm way. In fact when Dr. (John M) Jaworowicz came in a saw me he mentioned several times how tired I looked and suggested that he I go ahead and stay on my side while he administer the epidural. Little did he know that I wasn’t tired, just in my zone, but I felt blessed that I didn’t have to change positions. It helped me to stay focused as he put in the needle and tube. (That was definitely the scariest part of the whole experience. I was gripping the bed rails so tightly, writhing around a bit and trying to brave, but even then I felt like the spirit was telling me not to fear, that getting an epidural was the right thing and that it would be just fine. I was so grateful for those thoughts of reassurance!) Once it was done I was asked to turn on my back so that the medicine could equally numb my legs and lower back. At that point I was pretty relaxed and we chatted with Dr. Jawarowicz as he sat there to make sure everything was correctly in place and that I was getting the intended relief. Within a few minutes the nurse said that I’d had a contraction and asked if I’d felt it, not at all. He’d done a great job, things looked good so he left. It was a little after 4AM at that point. As the anesthesia took greater effect I was caught off guard by a few unintended consequences. My legs were so numb that I couldn’t move them and that sensation made me feel claustrophobic (as if someone was sitting on my legs and I couldn’t get them off). Also, I could barely feel when contractions came, but could still feel her move (she’d typically squirm around just before a contraction would come and my uterus would tighten). It was so odd to just be lying there, waiting, not really knowing what was happening under the surface and when things would move along---it gave me an anxious pit in my stomach that I couldn’t shake. I had to start focusing on positive thoughts instead of the unusual stillness. Dad thought I was resting, so I explained what was going on and the anxiety I was feeling. I asked if he could rub my feet and legs. That at least helped to give me some input. A little bit later I asked if he’d sing to me. He started singing me hymns and that calmed me down enough that I was able to fall asleep. What a sweet husband!
It was probably around 6AM when the nurse checked me. I was at 7cm, not much progress in the four hours that I’d been there. They called Dr. Dameron and she suggested that they start me on Pitocin and that I had a bulgy bag and when she came in she’d probably break my water. Normally I would have not wanted the interventions, but since I had an epidural and was already to a 7, the plan seemed good to us. The Pitocin hadn’t really seemed to have kicked in very much. When Dr. Dameron arrived she checked me (I was at a squishy 8) and went ahead and broke my water, letting us know that there was meconium in the amniotic fluid (nothing too bad) and that they’d make sure to suction you quickly once you were born. Breaking my water didn’t seem to help a lot either so next time Dr. Dameron came in to check me (I was still at a squishy 8). When the next contraction came she helped things along and tried to stretch out the remaining edges of my cervix. Good thing I couldn’t feel the pain during that, the pressure alone was pretty intense! I think it was at that point that Dr. Dameron asked the nurses to up the Pitocin by 3 (I think?). Thankfully through all of this I could barely feel anything. When particularly strong contractions would come I could feel just the edge and was grateful I wasn’t feeling more! It really made for a calm overall experience.
Next thing I knew, by my OB’s request, I was supposed to try pushing. Unfortunately (and I’m not sure why) they had me almost completely on my back for that part. It was such an uncomfortable position, but it didn’t seem like I had much choice, so I went along with it. It was a completely different experience than I’d had with Elijah’s birth, not nearly as intuitive, but it worked out. The nurse (Melissa) helped to talk me through it for a minute or two until Dr. Dameron came in to take over. I couldn’t have been pushing for more than five minutes and only had to push through a few contractions. You crowned very quickly and were coming out almost effortlessly at that point. Someone said something that made me laugh and they said that I could almost giggle you out. Before I even knew it you were sliding out. I later found out that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around your neck and that as I was pushing it must have been tightening because your heart rate would drop. I’m so glad that we were able to get you out quickly without complication. I t just made me sad that while I was experiencing very little discomfort you were feeling the full brunt of it :0( Thankfully you won’t have memory of it. They suctioned you out quickly then handed you up to me and put you my chest. I was so happy it brought tears to my eyes! I was finally holding my dear Aimee. I was finally seeing your sweet little self. Everything had gone so smoothly and it really had been a blessed and peaceful birth. What a wonderful way to welcome you into the world.
Friday Alex celebrated his 4th birthday. It was an awesome day focused totally on him! (He LOVES celebrations and has SO been looking forward to his birthday…it was thoughtful of you to give him his day to be in the spotlight :0)) Thankfully Dad & I got to sleep around 10:30, earlier than the normal 11:00-12:00 that has been the case the last few weeks. A little after 1AM I woke up to some really strong contractions. I got up to go to the bathroom and got back in bed. The contractions were hanging on. Over the next few minutes I had to use the bathroom 2-3 more times, which is not typical for me and made me think that maybe I was in labor. As I walked back to the bed, with this realization in mind, I started shivering and my teeth were chattering. What in the world was going on, I thought. I laid down next to Dad and squeezed his arm as I breathed through an intense contraction. Was I in labor? As opposed to the other pregnancies I had been having these preliminary contractions…was my body just gearing up again? These ones felt so intense though! I started panicking a bit, knowing that if I went into labor then Mémé would not be there like I had hoped. Dad would be there, but who else would help me through labor?? The contractions were already so intense that I feared trying to get through the STRONGER ones without a support team. I woke Dad up and explained what had been going on the last 15 minutes or so. He got up to use the bathroom and I laid in bed shaking, chattering and crying. While waiting for him I prayed, explaining my fears and realizing that the shaking was probably because of my anxiety. The thought came to me that I could go to the hospital, get an epidural and have a peaceful birth experience. I have NEVER ever wanted an epidural, but the thought of it now brought me comfort. I continued to pray that I could settle down and stop shaking and within seconds the shivering had subsided. I felt such a close connection to Heaven. Dad called the doctor on call, described what was going and was advised to take me in to be checked out at the hospital. He then called our home teacher's family and (as previously arranged) his wife, Bernadette, said that she’d come right over. While waiting Dad gave me a priesthood blessing. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, got my shoes on, put a pink hoodie on over my pink night gown and grabbed my hospital bag. I told Bernadette that I felt funny heading to the hospital when I wasn’t even in active labor, she reassured us that it was a good idea and to go ahead and get on our way.
Dad drove the van. It was an unusually peaceful ride to Brommen. We made some chit chat, especially about how crazy it was that here right after Alex’s birthday we were headed to the hospital to maybe have another birthday. As we drove through campus I was amazed to see how many students were out walking around at 2:00 in the morning. We pulled up to the front valet parking and Dad parked. I had just one contraction since leaving the house, just before I stepped out of the car and it wasn’t even that bad. We grabbed my bags and headed in. The security guard asked if I was in labor and I kind of chuckled and said, not really but explained how this was our fourth baby and that we’d been told to come in. A few minutes later we walked in to triage, dressed in to a hospital gown, got hooked up to contraction and baby monitors and then the nurse checked to see how dilated I was. She was not gentle or quick at all. It was the most painful and thorough cervical check I’d had to date, after which she announced that I was probably at a four, but apologized and said that it was tricky to tell and that she was going to have someone else check me. After she left Dad and I joked that if I hadn’t been in labor that after that check I would be! The other nurse came in, checked and said that I was a very soft six! ( Yay! So those contractions had been doing something!) and that I was indeed in active labor. What a surprise, but how exciting that our baby girl would be joining us so soon!
We headed down the hall to room 1226 and I climbed in to the bed. One of the nurses came in to put in my IV. I barely felt a prick and was so grateful for how smoothly and painlessly it went in. They started me on fluids and called the anesthesiologist to come in for my epidural. I was laying on my side and breathing through the contractions that now seemed to be coming. One hand was gripping the hospital bed railing and the other was holding Dad’s hand. He gently talked me through the contractions. It seemed like only twenty minutes passed, but it was probably closer to an hour before I’d made it through the (preparatory) bag of fluids and that the anesthesiologist arrived. It was a special time where I felt very in tune with the spirit. Little ideas would come of how to move my leg, relax my neck, what to focus on, how to breathe. The distinct thought came that God was being my doula. It was just God, Bry and I making it through those contractions and in a relatively calm way. In fact when Dr. (John M) Jaworowicz came in a saw me he mentioned several times how tired I looked and suggested that he I go ahead and stay on my side while he administer the epidural. Little did he know that I wasn’t tired, just in my zone, but I felt blessed that I didn’t have to change positions. It helped me to stay focused as he put in the needle and tube. (That was definitely the scariest part of the whole experience. I was gripping the bed rails so tightly, writhing around a bit and trying to brave, but even then I felt like the spirit was telling me not to fear, that getting an epidural was the right thing and that it would be just fine. I was so grateful for those thoughts of reassurance!) Once it was done I was asked to turn on my back so that the medicine could equally numb my legs and lower back. At that point I was pretty relaxed and we chatted with Dr. Jawarowicz as he sat there to make sure everything was correctly in place and that I was getting the intended relief. Within a few minutes the nurse said that I’d had a contraction and asked if I’d felt it, not at all. He’d done a great job, things looked good so he left. It was a little after 4AM at that point. As the anesthesia took greater effect I was caught off guard by a few unintended consequences. My legs were so numb that I couldn’t move them and that sensation made me feel claustrophobic (as if someone was sitting on my legs and I couldn’t get them off). Also, I could barely feel when contractions came, but could still feel her move (she’d typically squirm around just before a contraction would come and my uterus would tighten). It was so odd to just be lying there, waiting, not really knowing what was happening under the surface and when things would move along---it gave me an anxious pit in my stomach that I couldn’t shake. I had to start focusing on positive thoughts instead of the unusual stillness. Dad thought I was resting, so I explained what was going on and the anxiety I was feeling. I asked if he could rub my feet and legs. That at least helped to give me some input. A little bit later I asked if he’d sing to me. He started singing me hymns and that calmed me down enough that I was able to fall asleep. What a sweet husband!
It was probably around 6AM when the nurse checked me. I was at 7cm, not much progress in the four hours that I’d been there. They called Dr. Dameron and she suggested that they start me on Pitocin and that I had a bulgy bag and when she came in she’d probably break my water. Normally I would have not wanted the interventions, but since I had an epidural and was already to a 7, the plan seemed good to us. The Pitocin hadn’t really seemed to have kicked in very much. When Dr. Dameron arrived she checked me (I was at a squishy 8) and went ahead and broke my water, letting us know that there was meconium in the amniotic fluid (nothing too bad) and that they’d make sure to suction you quickly once you were born. Breaking my water didn’t seem to help a lot either so next time Dr. Dameron came in to check me (I was still at a squishy 8). When the next contraction came she helped things along and tried to stretch out the remaining edges of my cervix. Good thing I couldn’t feel the pain during that, the pressure alone was pretty intense! I think it was at that point that Dr. Dameron asked the nurses to up the Pitocin by 3 (I think?). Thankfully through all of this I could barely feel anything. When particularly strong contractions would come I could feel just the edge and was grateful I wasn’t feeling more! It really made for a calm overall experience.
Next thing I knew, by my OB’s request, I was supposed to try pushing. Unfortunately (and I’m not sure why) they had me almost completely on my back for that part. It was such an uncomfortable position, but it didn’t seem like I had much choice, so I went along with it. It was a completely different experience than I’d had with Elijah’s birth, not nearly as intuitive, but it worked out. The nurse (Melissa) helped to talk me through it for a minute or two until Dr. Dameron came in to take over. I couldn’t have been pushing for more than five minutes and only had to push through a few contractions. You crowned very quickly and were coming out almost effortlessly at that point. Someone said something that made me laugh and they said that I could almost giggle you out. Before I even knew it you were sliding out. I later found out that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around your neck and that as I was pushing it must have been tightening because your heart rate would drop. I’m so glad that we were able to get you out quickly without complication. I t just made me sad that while I was experiencing very little discomfort you were feeling the full brunt of it :0( Thankfully you won’t have memory of it. They suctioned you out quickly then handed you up to me and put you my chest. I was so happy it brought tears to my eyes! I was finally holding my dear Aimee. I was finally seeing your sweet little self. Everything had gone so smoothly and it really had been a blessed and peaceful birth. What a wonderful way to welcome you into the world.
Later that afternoon Dad went home and picked up your siblings so they could come meet you. They were all SO excited!! Lij was too short to see you in your bassinet so he pushed a little foot stool over to stand on, then like any good 2 year old brother, was poking you in the eyes ;0) Brie gave you your birthday present and we sang you "Happy Birthday!" Then the kids took turns holding you. Before Dad took the gang back home we of course had to get a picture of our family of SIX. I don't know how those families do it, with their kids all cutely coordinated, the mother perfectly coiffed and everyone smiling for the "first family picture in the hospital." We definitely didn't pull that off...At least we're all in the picture and Lij didn't manage to pull out my IV in the process ;0)
