I see a leader.

Alex, I came across this post on Facebook today, a mother writing to her "difficult child" and it made me think so much of you.  Before you stop there, read what she had to say because it's what I would say to you.  I love you dear, Alex.  As your name says, you will indeed be a great and peaceful leader someday as we learn to harness your determination and energy to serve and inspire others.

Bunmi Laditan

Yesterday at 5:57pm · 

Dear difficult child,

You've always given me a run for my money. Parenting tactics that worked on your siblings don't work on you. Where they'd give in, you'd push back. Where they'd say "I'm sorry" you'd say "I hate you." My parenting self-esteem has taken many hits as you challenge me over and over again. Your will is like iron and bending it takes all of my energy.

I've had to dig deep to parent you. I've had to follow through and be stronger than I've ever been before. To be honest, you exhaust me mentally and emotionally. You've embarrassed me in public more times than I can count.

Some days I feel like I'm failing you, but I refuse to give up. Why?

Because you're mine and I know that one day you'll move mountains. I know that if I can just help you channel that steel will into something good, you'll be a force to be reckoned with. You're fearless. You'll move mountains. You'll defend the silenced. You'll shape the future. You'll breathe fire.

As you sit in time out, finally calm after screaming and yelling, I want you to know that even though you think I'm the enemy, I'm your biggest cheerleader. You may look in the mirror and see a tear-streaked child with messy hair, but I see a powerhouse. I see a game changer. I see a leader.

When you finally apologize and learn today's lesson we'll hug it out like we always do and I'll pray that you get it.

Keep doing you, sweetheart. I know you have fire burning inside of you. It's my job to make sure that you don't let it consume you but instead use it to burn a path in the world one day.

I get you and I love you.

xoxo Mama

Relative Race.

Somehow we started a family tradition of watching Relative Race each Tuesday evening after dinner.  Alex had been cheering for Team Black (til Episode 9 when you decided they fought too much), Brie is cheering for Team Blue and I'm cheering for Team Red.  And after watching tonight and just so turns out that all 3 of those teams are tied and will race for the win next week.  Other than some bickering and intensity between the couples, it's been fun to look forward to the show each week.  I wonder who is going to win...and what we're going to do after the show ends.

Christmas with Aimee.

As I'm starting to work on Christmas posts I can't help but post these pictures of Aimee.  It was a joy to celebrate your first Christmas with you.  We love you dear girl!

I Am a Child of God

Elijah, today I came in to do singing time in nursery.  I brought my draped window with a picture of a nature scene with numbers coordinated to songs.  One of the songs was "I am a Child of God" and you happened to request it.  I pulled you up on my lap and while Brother Zaitzeff played the guitar (he was our visiting musician this week) I sang it with you and Sisters Zaitzeff and Sagers as the other nursery kids stared a little bit blankly on.  Every time I come in for singing time you are about the only nursery kid to sing and I just love hearing your little voice try to find the medley with your chirpy voice and sing the words that you can remember.  In any case, this Sunday as I held you on my lap, wrapped and my arms and we sang, I was filled with so much joy.  Joy to your mom, joy to hear you singing, joy to hold you close with your fuzzy golden brown hair tickling my face, joy that fulfilling my calling allowed me this moment with you during nursery.  As I listened to the words we sang the impression came to me that out of all of God's creations,  you children really are his most beautiful and most special.  It was a sweet moment and I wanted to freeze it in time, but this will have to do.  I love you, sweet Lij.

neglected blog.

I neglected the blog for the last month while I was working on our 7th blog book.  I was so happy to see that Blurb was offering 40% off (I've never seen that good of a promotion before) and wanted to finish it in time.  I did!  Dad and I decided that we wanted to invest in our own family history and purchased a set of our blog books for each of you.  We hope that they will be special and meaningful.  In any case, I hope to get back to blogging before long.  I'd love to blog about Christmas before Summer is here ;0)

I was just telling a friend tonight that I'm convinced that I personally can not excel at being a house wife AND a mother.  The days that I have all the dishes done, the house straightened and a wonderful dinner on the table you kids have most likely been doing their own thing.  On days when I take you kids to the library, spend lots of time doing projects and reading, the house is a dull rumble of chaos and clutter.  Now, I'm sure that a better balance can be struck, but I sure have a dickens of a time striking it!  But I'm learning more and more that I really can't do it all and don't need to do it all.  Some things can be left undone or not done "perfectly" and it will be OK.