(Tomorrow I will be speaking in sacrament meeting. I just finished typing up the text for my talk and thought I would post it here in case it is food for thought for someone else.)
Humility
Since
last week when I got the call to speak on humility I’ve been thinking about what
I could say today. Every time I sat down
to write my talk, nothing would come.
The few ideas that did come to mind were disjointed and awkward. I started praying a little more fervently,
asking to know what Heavenly Father would have me say. As the words began to come, I was reminded of
my great dependence on the Lord and I thought of the scripture in John 5:30
where Jesus said, “I can of mine own self do nothing…” How grateful I am that the Lord takes our
best yet feeble efforts and magnifies and prospers them!
While
preparing to speak today, I looked up the meaning of the words MEEKNESS and
HUMILITY. Although I’ve grown up hearing
the word meek, I honestly couldn’t say that I knew what it meant. As I’ve googled, and read a bit here and
there, the best definition I could find is that meekness is strength that we
have learned to control. Meekness does
not mean weakness. True meekness does
not resemble a mouse or a door mat, but rather a strong individual who wisely
chooses to act calmly and with gentleness.
I will
be the first to admit that meekness has not been strength of mine. I grew up with a fiery spirit, often on a
soap box, trying to aggressively assert my opinion. About a decade ago I met a woman who seemed
to have equally strong opinions but voiced them with a calm and caring
demeanor. It dawned on me that it isn’t always
the loudest voice that is heard and that I may have missed opportunities to
influence others for good because my strength was not tempered. I can see why our Savior who described
himself as meek and lowly in heart (Matthew 11:29) invites us to seek meekness.
While I
read a quote by Neal A. Maxwell, where he eloquently expounds upon this idea, I
want us to envision the often self-imposed and worldly expectations as heavy
baggage that we sometimes carry. Elder
Maxwell states, “Happily, the commandment “Take my
yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart” (Matthew
11:29) carries an accompanying and compensating promise from Jesus—“and ye
shall find rest unto your souls.” This is a very special form of rest. It
surely includes the rest resulting from the shedding of certain needless
burdens: fatiguing insincerity,
exhausting hypocrisy, and the strength-sapping quest for recognition, praise,
and power. Those of us who fall short, in one way or another, often do so
because we carry such unnecessary and heavy baggage. Being thus
overloaded, we sometimes stumble and then feel sorry for ourselves. We need not carry such baggage. However, when
we’re not meek, we resist the
informing voice of conscience and feedback from family, leaders, and friends.
Whether from preoccupation or pride, the warning signals go unnoticed or
unheeded. However, if sufficient meekness
is in us, it will not only help us to jettison unneeded burdens, but will
also keep us from becoming mired in the ooze of self-pity. Furthermore, true meekness has a metabolism that
actually requires very little praise or recognition.”
How many of us flourish by the praise of the world, but are
offended and defensive at any criticism or suggestions we’re given? Are we perhaps relying on the wrong sources
for input and approval?
Elder
Soares in his conference address entitled “Be Meek and Lowly of Heart” said
that, “The humble are teachable, recognizing how dependent they are on God and desiring to be subject to His will.”
Several
years ago I was starting out as a student instructor of a French 101
class. The head supervising teacher was
from France and was notorious for her rigorous expectations. Before she reviewed my first teaching evaluation
with me I prayed. I knew that whether
constructive or not I had typically been easily bruised and disheartened by
criticism and was worried about the impending encounter. The thought came to me that it would be
important to be soft-heartened and teachable otherwise her critiques would come
across as painful and breaking blows.
Her page and a half of comments was initially overwhelming, but as I
took each one in stride, with the help of the spirit to temper me, I was able
to become a better and more capable French teacher. The correction I feared was what ultimately helped
me to excel.
A
similar progression is expected of us as disciples of Christ. In Elder
Soares suggests that, “As we take Christ’s name upon us, it is expected that we
strive to emulate His attributes and change our character to become more like
Him each day. Meekness is vital for us to become more Christlike.” For, in part, the way that we react to people
directly affects our progress as disciples.
Elder Soares invites us to think for a few seconds about that
correlation, “how [do] you react when someone does not comply with your desires
the moment you want them to[?] What about when people disagree with your ideas,
even though you are absolutely sure that they represent the proper solution to
a problem? What is your response when someone offends you, critiques your
efforts, or is simply unkind because he or she is in a bad mood? At these
moments and in other difficult situations, we must learn to control our temper
and convey our feelings with patience and gentle persuasion.” I honestly felt a little defeated when I
first heard that list of questions. It
was obvious that I had a long way to go in the meekness department. But I love what the Apostle Paul taught that
meekness is a fruit of the Spirit.4 Therefore,
it can most easily be attained if we “live in the Spirit.” The companionship of the spirit is key to any
progress, change and growth!
Yesterday
we attended the baptism and confirmation for our friends’ son. I couldn’t help but think what an absolute
blessing it is to have the gift of the Holy Ghost. I love that we can attain Christ-like virtues
as “we live in the spirit.” It almost
makes me think of being immersed in a second language. It may feel unnatural
and be challenging at first, but as we try our best to learn and push forward,
eventually things will start clicking.
We may not feel that meekness is a current strength, but with time,
especially as we are immersed in the spirit, we can be blessed with this gift. We can learn to react calmly, respond gently,
and have greater control of ourselves.
We will be more able to take the constructive correction and suggestions
of others and be all the better for it.
This
process involves being lowly of heart. Jeffrey
R. Holland’s wife, Patricia, gave a fabulous address at Brigham Young University
on these two virtues (Becoming Meek and Lowly in Heart). In it she mentions a conversation that she
had had with her father several years previous.
Her father had said, “Confidence is a great
blessing to anyone who has it. But Jeff [Elder Holland] is also smart enough to
know what to have confidence in. Both of you need to remember that
your greatest strength and surest success will come through humility and
dependence upon the Lord.” Sister Holland continues her address to the
body of college students, “I have thought a
lot about my father’s wisdom, especially now when it seems our society appears
to value success and the whole
self-image package at almost any price. Meekness and lowliness in heart are certainly not
characteristics any contemporary young urban professional would want to claim.
Instead, it seems that these young men and women want to be regarded as totally confident in manner, dependent upon
no one, assertive, and excessively protective of their image of self…”
Although she was speaking to young students here, do any of us
fall in the same trap? Where more than
anything we want to come across as confident and independent? I know I often do! I want to share a personal experience from a
few years ago when we were living in St.
Louis. Bryan was busy working on his PhD
and I was keeping busy with Brie and Alex.
I thought things were fine. I was
trying so hard to juggle the various plates in my life and was keeping busy. It wasn't until one day when I found myself
in what felt like such a humiliating situation, that I fell to my knees and
sobbed to my Heavenly Father...muttering that I couldn't do it anymore and that
my best efforts had failed me. I felt
like my little world had come crashing down.
Although I tend to overreact and get emotional about things, in a way
things had fallen apart, and that was OK because it brought me to my
knees...and brought me finally to the Lord.
As I prayed my humiliation
turned to humility. I felt the
Lord's love for me. I felt that with His
help, IF I continued to turn to Him, that He and I could pick up the pieces and
make something better than was before.
For honestly the first time in my life I really felt a connection with
the phrase "a broken heart and contrite spirit." Although it’s never fun to reach rock bottom
in any aspect of life, I was grateful that this last straw had brought me to my
Heavenly Father. It had helped to humble
me enough to turn to Him for help, finally willing to hear Him out and do what
He saw fit. There is great strength that
comes when we turn our will to the Lord.
After all, He is the master architect, carpenter, creator. He knows when things need to be torn down or
changed. He sees what can be created
with diligent effort and how to make it a reality.
Sister Holland related a similar sentiment, saying “Indeed, I
have come to realize that my own personal promptings from the Lord most often
occur when I have been brought down into the depths of humility and suddenly
feel a lot less confident in my own ability and much more dependent upon the
Lord. He certainly uses my pain as his megaphone for an otherwise dull ear. I
am beginning to see that the very experiences I would have chosen to run away
from at the time have really been the major motivational turning points in my
life.”
Just yesterday morning it felt like life was caving in on
me. I was filled with negative thoughts,
I was feeling bad for the way I had been acting and wasn’t sure how to move
forward. I broke down in tears in the
middle of my closet and prayed for my Father’s help. As always, he came to my aid. Oh how I need Him!
I love the definition of humility given in True
to the Faith, (2004),
86–87 “To be humble is to recognize gratefully your dependence on the Lord—to
understand that you have constant need for His support. Humility is an
acknowledgment that your talents and abilities are gifts from God. It is not a
sign of weakness, timidity, or fear; it is an indication that you know where your true strength lies. You can be both humble
and fearless. You can be both humble and courageous.”
I
am such a visual person and am forever thinking of analogies. When I hear the word strength I think of
power and electricity. Bear with me for
a second :0) Imagine that being proud is
like a light bulb claiming its brilliance in making its own light. When in reality it must be plugged in to the
source of electricity to shine at all.
When we are humble and recognize the source of our power we are much more
likely to stay connected to the source and will then have the ability to brightly shine forth.
President Kimball had the key to (re)establishing
this connection with God:
First, you evaluate yourself. What am I?
I am the circle. I am the hole in the doughnut. I would be nothing without the
Lord. My breath, my brains, my hearing, my sight, my locomotion, my everything
depends upon the Lord. That is the first step and then we pray, and pray often,
and we will not get up from our knees until we have communicated. The line may
be down; we may have let it fall to pieces, but I will not get up from my knees
until I have established communication—if it is twenty minutes, if it is all
night like Enos. . . . If it takes all day long, you stay on your
knees until your unhumbleness has dissipated, until you feel the humble spirit
and realize, “I could die this minute if it were not for the Lord’s good grace.
I am dependent upon him—totally dependent upon him.” [TSWK pp. 233–34]
I was recently
reading a blog by Sarah Short of Short Stop Blog. As mother of five she was responding to the
frequent question that she gets, “How do you do it with 5 kids??” Although she is referring to motherhood, I
think her words can apply to each of us in our various situations.
“I'm maxed totally maxed out…
But, mothering is easier for me now than
it used to be. For one reason: I need God more.
I need him in the morning, at noon and
at night. I need him to wipe my tears when my baby won't let me sleep at night.
I need him to calm my heart when I'm changing bed sheets at 2 a.m. I need him
to keep my children safe because I only have two hands and one set of eyes, and
crossing a parking lot means holding on tight, but it also means letting go of
"I can do this" and trading it for "God, you are with me, and
you love them, too."
I need him to help me trade my doing for his doing.
I need his
patience.
I need his
joy.
I need his love.”
She goes on to say that she use to flail,
“about amidst all of that and tried to raise my children in the Land of I Can
Do This.
[God] He's
taught me that he loves my children more than I do, and he loves to hear my voice calling out to him and letting him fill
me with strength and wisdom and love and joy for my children.”
Whatever it is
that we do each day, whether it’s going to school, putting in long hours at
work, trying to stay on top of our households, making ends meet, serving
others, taking care of our families, striving to make changes, trying to make a
difference in the world…whatever it is, remember that we will always be better
off when the Lord is in the equation.
Humbly turning to Him will ALWAYS be our best bet. Isn’t it ironic that we’re better off when we
realize that we can’t do it all? That it’s
NOT all up to us? But it’s true.
President
Lorenzo Snow, the fifth prophet of our dispensation, taught, “It is our duty to
try to be perfect, … to improve each day, and look upon our course last week
and do things better this week; do things better today than we did them
yesterday.”11 So
the first step to becoming meek is to improve day by day. Each day we need to
try to be better than the previous as we move forward through this process.”
In
closing I want to share one of my favorite quotes, “Do the best until you know
better then when you know better, do better.” (Maya Angelou) As we each strive to be more like Jesus
Christ through meekness and humility, I pray that we will choose to turn to the
Lord and know that is through Him that we can do all things! Let us remember that, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me
(Phillipians 4:13).
