Around Thanksgiving I was asked to speak at church (in our new ward, the St. Louis Hills Ward). My topic was gratitude. I think the Lord knew I could use a reminder to be grateful. In any case I appreciated the opportunity to study the topic of gratitude and want to record and share the thoughts that I compiled...
I’m going to mix a few stories in to a brief introduction
about our little family and I want you to see if you can guess the topic of my
talk. As was said, my name is Sarah
Graden and I’m married to Bryan AKA the ward clerk :0) Maybe similar to several of you, we met in
our stake’s single’s ward while attending Brigham Young University. A lot of our courtship centered around campus
life and most evenings when we met up to walk to my car it seemed like our
conversations quickly became negative as we complained about a test or a
frustrating assignment. One day we
decided that we wanted to change the tone of our conversations and our
relationship, and that at the conclusion of each day we would share two
blessings from the day. Just before we
got married we bought our first gratitude journal. We are now almost done with our fourth. Our recording of blessings has ebbed and
flowed, but we’ve kept it up, and I think we’d both agree that every effort we
make to recognize and record our blessings has in turn been blessed!
We both graduated from BYU, Bry worked for 2 years at KPMG
(a public accounting firm). We moved
here 3 ½ years ago with our daughter Brie and now we have three...Brie and her
two brothers, Alex and Elijah. Bryan
will be finishing up a PhD in accounting from Wash-U this Spring and we will be
moving this Summer. We have LOVED this
season of our lives and will be sad to move.
We try to remind eachother frequently that there are good things and
challenging things about each phase of life.
Yes we are very excited to move our family of 5 out of our 2 bedroom
townhome into a bigger home, but we will miss the fun friends we’ve made out on
our front walk…and our very quiet back yard neighbors in the cemetery ;0) We are excited to meet new people and to
serve in our new ward, but we will miss all of the wonderful people we’ve
rubbed shoulders with here. So our
challenge now is to be grateful for what we have NOW, to recognize and enjoy
the blessings that are currently ours. If we can’t be happy here how will we be happy
somewhere else?
I bet you can guess that I’ve been asked to speak today on
gratitude. And I can honestly say that I
am grateful to have been given this topic :0)
At the October General Conference last year, our prophet,
Thomas S. Monson gave a talk entitled, “Consider the Blessings.” He tells a handful of stories about following
the spirit, being on the Lord’s errand and being blessed by serving
others. And he mentions that he is able
to recall these blessings because of a journal that he kept.
President Eyring who is also an advocate of gratitude journals,
mentions prayer and journals as two ways to recognize blessings and be filled
with gratitude. I love what he
suggests! He asks, “How can you and I
remember, always, the goodness of God?
The Apostle John recorded what the Savior taught us of a gift of
remembrance which comes through the gift of theHoly Ghost: “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost,
whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring
all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” (John 14:26.)
The Holy Ghost brings back memories of what God has taught us.
And one of the ways God teaches us is with his blessings; and so, if we choose
to exercise faith, the Holy Ghost will bring God’s kindnesses to our
remembrance.
You could begin a private prayer with thanks. You could start to
count your blessings, and then pause for a moment. If you exercise faith, and
with the gift of the Holy Ghost, you will find that memories of other blessings
will flood into your mind. If you begin to express gratitude for each of them,
your prayer may take a little longer than usual. Remembrance will come. And so
will gratitude.” He goes on to say that,
“You could try the same thing as you write an entry in your book of
remembrance…President Spencer W. Kimball described that process of inspired
writing: “Those who keep a book of remembrance are more likely to keep the Lord
in remembrance in their daily lives. Journals are a way of counting our
blessings and of leaving an inventory of these blessings for our posterity.” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L.
Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 349.)
For those of you who know me, you probably know that I am a
BIG into recording and documenting! For whatever reason I LOVE journaling,
blogging, taking pictures and documenting and have always been that way. Much
like Presidents Monson, Eyring and Kimball, I have been blessed on several
occasions by looking back and remembering. In fact a few weeks ago I felt like I was
under a little black rain cloud.
Everything seemed dark and looming.
I felt like I had the hardest lot in the world. Thankfully though one morning I decided to
update our gratitude journal that had been neglected. I sat down and began to jot down blessings
from the past weeks. With each blessing
I recorded it felt as if my heart was softening and light was entering back
into. When I was caught up I started
flipping back through the journal to read previous entries. My heart was touched as I read about the
birth of Elijah and the many blessings that had accompanied that stage of our
lives. It was a busy time, but the Lord had poured out his
blessings. We had gotten through that
time and remembering
that brought me a glimmer of hope that I could make it through this challenging time.
I don’t know if you are like this, but the problem I often
face is being grateful for what is going on NOW. In fact this week was a particularly hard one
for me. Each time I found myself feeling
frazzled or frustrated I would think, “wait, isn’t gratitude supposed to help
me be happy?! How can I be happy even
when…” During one particularly rough moment a scripture came to mind, 2 Nephi 2:25 aAdam bfell that men might be; and men care, that
they might have djoy. I thought about the fact that Adam and Eve were in the
Garden of Eden where everything was wonderful
and flourishing. Then they fell
from God’s presence, left the Garden and found themselves in a fallen world… a much different place with pain and
sorrow. But what does the scripture say,
that men are that they might have frustration?
No, it says that they might have joy.
So we all came to this fallen VERY much imperfect world, but we are here
to have joy. To me that is
profound. It tells me that we can be
happy even in the midst of our sorrows, pains and problems. Gratitude can be the catalyst.
**Before I go on, I want to add a little side note. In the end, we really can’t compare our
trials or our blessings. It’s not apples
for apples. But I do feel that no matter
what we’re facing gratitude can help us see what we do have and make it be
enough. Without gratitude nothing will
ever be enough! Comparison and
ingratitude is like a giant insatiable monster, that I have often
experienced.**
A few years ago when I was expecting our second child, Alex,
I was miserably going through first trimester.
I was tired and constantly nauseated and sleeping felt like my only escape. I will admit that I hated waking up in the
morning and knowing that I had to go through it all again. I was just scratching by.
I don’t know exactly what changed, but I think somehow one day
the spirit got through to my heart and helped me realize that I’d been unintentionally
hiding under an umbrella of discomfort and discontentment and that it’d been
keeping me from all of the MANY blessings the Lord had been pouring out on
me. I recorded this in my journal, “God has helped
me see the importance of finding joy in this journey of first trimester. Feeling of God’s love and concern—to count
the many blessings that He is abundantly blessing me with. If I’m huddled in a miserable survival mode,
it’s hard for me to feel that and see it.
I must reach up and out with a grateful heart. Even this can be a joyful time.”
As I say this though I can’t help but think of several of my
dear friends who have been dealing with infertility for almost a decade. Or family members whose trials don’t have an expiration date or a
bundle of joy at the end. My heart aches
for them and I’ve wondered can gratitude even
help them?! With this question in
mind I called I thought specifically of my “Aunt” Elaine. (My Mom’s best friend
who has been my aunt for as long as I can remember and has almost been like a
surrogate mom to me. ) She was an only
child in a home with an alcoholic and physically abusive father. Later on in life she married a wonderful man,
but whose depression was so severe that he was unemployed for most of their
married life. They longed for children,
but were unable to have children or adopt.
My Aunt worked for most of her adult life supporting them until she
eventually needed to retire because of the myriad of health problems that she
deals with. A few years ago my uncle
unexpectedly died of a heart attack leaving my aunt very much alone with no
parents, no in-laws, no aunts or uncles, no children. Yet when I asked her how gratitude has helped
her in her life, this was her response (that I share with her permission),
“In my prayers, I always
express my gratitude for all of the blessings I receive. Our Father in Heaven
is always near and helps me not to feel so alone. My family disowned me when I
became a member except for my Mother. She listened to the missionary
discussions and wanted to join when I did, but couldn’t at that time because of
my father. But in 1978 she was baptized. Losing my family (except for my
Mom) was very hard for me, but I would never go back to my life before
joining the Church. I know the Gospel is true,
I know Joseph Smith was called to be the prophet and bring the Gospel back to
the earth. His obedience and humility granted the blessing of seeing the Father
and the Son. His humility and sacrifices brought about the ushering in of
the Gospel, to gives us the opportunity and greatest blessing of becoming members
of the true Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know the Lord loves me
and grants me the blessings I have received. My family and friends in each Ward
I have been in, have blessed my life with their love, friendship and prayers. Through my trials, I have
been blessed to help me endure my trials, to deal with severe pain and the
ability to do his will, to do my best each day although I may falter and to
know that Heavenly Father loves me. I pray that we can find the time, to thank
our Father in Heaven each day, for all of our blessings.”
I know that a grateful
heart has seen her through many MANY hard times. I am grateful for her example!! In a talk entitled, “Gratitude: A path to
Happiness”, Bonnie D. Parkin mentions this level of gratitude, “The kind of gratitude that receives even tribulations with thanksgiving requires a broken
heart and a contrite spirit, humility to accept that which we cannot change,
willingness to turn everything over to the Lord—even when we do not understand,
thankfulness for hidden opportunities yet to be revealed. Then comes a sense of
peace.”
To conclude I want to share
a quote from Joseph F. Smith, sixth President of the
Church said: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for,
and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light
drives darkness out of his life.” He continued: “How much happier we are in the
presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate,
through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and
man!” 9
There is SO much in our lives
to be grateful for. But, Let’s be
honest, we all find ourselves under little black rain clouds from time to time
and sometimes BIG HUGE OVERBEARING rain clouds, BUT we NEVER ever need to feel
alone. Heavenly Father is aware of
us. He wants to hear from us. If it seems like there are NO blessings to be
found, let us pray and ask that Heavenly Father can open our eyes to see the
blessings that He is pouring out upon us!
Maybe we’ll find that the rain we thought was out to beat down upon us
and drench us is actually there to help us flourish and grow. “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to
pass. It’s about learning how to dance
in the rain.” When I’m feeling exasperated and like hope is
lost, will one of you PLEASE REMIND ME OF THIS?! ;0) I pray that we can all find more happiness in
our lives as we take time to remember our blessings. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
