Success?

I just was commenting on a friend's blog and decided that I wanted to record my thoughts here in our family history...

It seems like for the last few years I've been chasing after success in motherhood.  Thinking that it was hiding behind a perfectly clean house, dinner on the table, a skinny body, stylish clothes, behaving kids.  The more I chased the more I felt like I would never measure up.  The other day I was trying to get a million things done to have things just right for a visitor.  My to-do list may have been realistic...if I didn't have three kids.  Unfortunately I managed the day that way, turning show after show on for the kids, having them play in the room while I whipped around the house.  At one point I was feeling exhausted yet still had so many things to do.  I was on my knees putting shoes in our ever-full shoe basket when I decided to pray.  I prayed that I could recognize the things that were essential and to be able to do those things.  With that prayer I realized that I really can not do all that I could do before, and that's OK.  Since then I've decided that during this season of life I may not ever feel "on top of things"...and that if I can be OK with that I'll have a lot more inner peace.

The other day I was going to get in the shower at 4:30...in the afternoon ;0)...the house was littered with toys and kids' paraphernalia, but I felt content.  And I had this thought that the day had been well spent because I had tried to follow the spirit.  I realized that success for each day would be different, but I could feel successful and fulfilled if I had tried my best to follow the spirit.  How GRATEFUL I am for the gift of the Holy Ghost.  Where would I be without that sweet gift?  How grateful I am that life is a process, it's a journey, it's a time of learning.  We aren't meant to get everything just right.  We're not meant to be perfect.  How in the world would we learn if we never made mistakes?  I'm so grateful to be alive and to have the life I do.  It sure can be challenging, exhausting and frustrating, but the beauties and blessings abound as well.