In just ONE month from today Brie will be TWO YEARS OLD!! Craziness. To celebrate we're going to do a cupcake party with her little friends in the area. I'm excited! I really enjoy planning parties and such. I just love putting together colors and decorations and food to make something creative and fun. So her party will probably be more for me than for Brie, but oh well :0) She'll be all over cupcake decorating with her buddies!
Speaking of Brie...the last few months have been fun AND challenging. Every day Brie gets more and more playful, but also more independent and less keen on listening to her parents. I keep finding myself snapping at her and getting frustrated over the littlest things. It makes me sad (after the fact) how I chose to react and am reminded that I DO NOT want to be that kind of Sarah... impatient, snappy and easy to anger. I don't like how it makes me feel OR how it makes Brie feel :0(
But ya know? Life is for living and learning, and I am grateful that as I choose to turn to God after making poor choices that He is able to cast His light and wisdom on the situation. This week I have found that when I am stringent with my schedule or do projects and chores in a certain way and in a particular time frame....I tend to lose my temper with Brie because I see her as just getting in the way. BUT when I have tried to slow down, to include my shorter-striding buddy and to be more realistic about toddler-appropriate behavior...things go so much better. There is more laughing, more collaboration, more fun. I've just got to remember that when I'm in the moment.
Any thoughts on how to interact with toddlers in a consistent yet fun and loving way?
4 comments:
I try to turn to books, we have Toddler 411, we'll see how well it works. Mazy had her first tantrum today!
Sarah, I think you hit the nail on the head exactly: she wants (and needs) attention, especially for positive things, and having realistic expectations of behavior and how much she understands/remembers is really key to not getting frustrated. I have found EXACTLY the same thing, too-- I get the most frustrated with Lilli when I am just trying to do my own thing and I feel like she's getting in the way-- which isn't really fair to her or to me. But when I stop what I'm doing to answer her question, read her a book, or play a short game, we all end up happier. I'm REALLY trying to remember that she's only 3 and can't always be expected to remember what I told her not to touch or be able to play on her own without getting into trouble for hours on end... sigh...
I've also found that using a kitchen timer is really helpful for setting expectations for both parties-- we use it for lots of things: how much time til we need to be done with the current activity; how long til I'll read her a book; how long we're going to play a game; how long we're going to clean up, etc. Using a timer makes us accountable to the beep instead of to mom saying "it's time! it's time, time to be done" and so on. Also keeps me accountable for not putting her off too long.
The other big thing that has helped me be less snappy with her over the last few months is realizing that I can apply the power of the Atonement IN THE MOMENT: when I'm really frustrated with her and feel like I just don't know how to react without yelling or punishing or whatever, I just have to realize that maybe I'm not capable of coming up with (and executing) the best response on my own. But, if I do my very best to control my temper and deal kindly with her, I can COUNT ON the Lord to help me do what might be beyond my capability to do alone. I have been amazed at the words that have come out of my mouth or the things I have done that just were NOT my natural reaction or anything that I was even remotely thinking of. I've been a lot less frustrated and angry with myself lately because of this, and am coming to have a much better relationship with Lilli that feels like much less of a power struggle.
Sorry for such a long comment! :)
This is a great reminder for me to slow down, too! I need to remember to think of Emory and his wanting to grow and learn before I think of my task list. Oh, and you're such a good party planner... seeing Brie's first birthday party photos just made me want to hire you!
It sounds like you are doing wonderful, Sarah, with your "shorter-striding buddy" (one of my favorite descriptions ever--thank you :) ). I think you said it...never giving up when we lose it, keep turning to God, teach them to turn to God to overcome the effects of our shortcomings as well as their own shortcomings, being careful of your focus (schedule/things vs. people). You are doing wonderful things, Sarah. "Moving mountains long before you knew you could." :)
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